It’s a bit ironic that my mission in life is to motivate, inspire and hold others accountable and yet, I’ve spent the last two years playing small when it comes to taking action on my ultimate purpose.

My gift is inspiration. It’s who I am and what I am meant for. Only, since discovering this two years ago, I’ve almost been paralyzed to take action. I’ve disguised it as not really knowing how to pursue it PERFECTLY, but in reality I’ve partially tried to ignore it so it would go away and I wouldn’t have to be so brave.

So, in an attempt to push myself outside of my bubble, I decided to sign up for a few opportunities to meet new people.

Only, I really hate MEETING new people.

Not that I hate knowing people, I love knowing people, I just hate the whole meeting them part. 

When I showed up to my first Polka Dot Powerhouse lunch, I started telling myself to make sure to ask questions about them and try not to focus on me. The lunch was great and the women were even better. 

That night I opened my Gmail account and there was my “Freak out moment” disguised as a very nice, flattering email request to connect with seven of the women that were at the event earlier that day.

None of this should have sent any normal person into the mini meltdown that followed. But, I went into a tailspin.

Oh, sh*t!, if this many women saw something in me, maybe it’s true. If it’s really true that my gift and mission in life is to inspire others, than sh*t again. There’s a ton of responsibility that comes with figuring out your gift and then actually being called to use it. What if I don’t live up to it? What if I fail?

I couldn’t understand is why the hell I was so freaked out!

Thank God I have a coach! 

So here’s how she put it…

You’re like the 6’5” guy who’s spent his life pursuing his dream to play basketball professionally.  Then one day… he gets picked up and proceeds to freak out. 

He’s trained his whole life for this moment. Then when it happens, he starts to doubt himself. Yet somewhere deep down, he knows he deserves it.

Just like him, my life has been building to get to this point. The path towards my dreams is slowly coming into a very clear focus. 

And then, there it was, “the email from God”.

At the moment my coach described it, I knew I had indeed received an email from GOD. 

And over the next few days, it seemed every time I turned around I could hear the “You’ve got mail” chime; from an upgrade at McDonald’s, to a free Starbucks order, to a cart (with the quarter in it!) at Aldi’s.

My emails showed up to tell me “Karmen, you’re on the right track. I made this experience for you, put the cart there for you (with the quarter and everything), you deserve this warm cup of delicious coffee. Oh, and I put these women here to help you understand all that you have been trying to do is spot on.”

Only I took it as sh*t...Now I have this huge responsibility to show up. What if I SCREW IT UP?”

Then it occurred to me… AGAIN! My life theme lately; I am not perfect, I am not supposed to be perfect, I will screw up and I will rock the hell out of this journey anyway.

Can you relate? Going along in life, planning, taking chances, creating opportunities and then… a moment when you can’t get out of your head and you’re completely derailed and you have no idea why? I’m sure if you’re challenging yourself, you’ve been through a similar experience. It might have steered you on a detour (which would have totally been my choice if it weren’t for my coach) or it might have stopped you completely. 

You’re going along and something happens or someone says something and you second guess yourself.

For me, getting passed the freak out and back to “Rock Star” was simply a shift in focus. I remembered that my mission is not about me. When I show up with the purpose of being there for others the focus is completely off me, my short comings and my imperfections. 

Now, that I can handle….

Karmen Feist is a very enthusiastic member of the new Madison, WI Polka Dot Powerhouse Chapter. She has lived in the Madison area most of her life.

Karmen and her husband, Shane, have been married for 15 years, have 3 kids and are serial entrepreneurs. Their most current business venture has been building their real estate investment firm, which has rewarded them with some amazing life experiences.

They are known for having big dreams, taking big chances and living life outside the lines. The craziest and best thing they’ve ever done was buy an RV, take their kids out of school and travel the country on a seven month adventure. It was the most challenging and most rewarding experience they’ve ever had.

Karmen is a life-long cheerleader and believer in BIG Dreams. In the pursuit of sharing her passion for helping others, Karmen’s next great adventure is the creation of Transformation Squad Inner Circle, an inner circle community that will support and inspire other women to chase their dreams and take life to the next level.