This will come as no shock to any of you: women are very hard on themselves. At some point, we bought the idea that this was the only way we would be good enough, succeed, prevent harm, avoid embarrassment, and otherwise somehow create a happy ending for ourselves and everyone we love. This goes hand-in-hand with spending a lot of time worrying about the future—often known as, “all the things that could go wrong!” It is also accompanied by a nice dose of martyrdom, wherein we convince ourselves that we don’t need to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, or to ever take a break from holding everything together through sheer force of will.

What if I told you this was all backwards?


Try this on for size. As you let go of the sense that worry is a protective mechanism, you release the idea that stress makes you a better person, you recognize how little you actually control, and just get centered in this moment. Right now. Realizing that you understand so little about life, and instead of being overwhelmed and scared, you let it sink in just how much is working on your behalf so that you can have this unique life of yours!

You are enough. You will have what you need in the moment you need it. Others are here to support you and grow in their own ways. Perhaps when you relax, they will step up, learn new things, and find ways to contribute.

If you are in peace, your body will feel better. Your muscles relax, you see with different eyes, you laugh more with joy, and you feel playful. The idea that you co-create things instead of making them happen frees you up to enjoy the process—see what arises, know you are resourceful, you are open to new ideas. You are okay with quieting your mind, not doing anything, breathing slow and deep…with full confidence that you are valuable. You do matter. And more than anything, you enjoy being alive, which is how you honor your existence.

You are simultaneously a unique creation that will never exist again and a speck of stardust that is miniscule in the scheme of things. If you loosen your assumptions about what defines you, then you find that in fact you are infinite possibility. It is not your job to keep everything stable. In fact, stasis in nature equates to death of the organism. We must incorporate the new, adapt, and grow. Our self-expression is part of that process.

Just for a moment, see yourself as joy—as naturally happy. Forget the idea that you need people, things, or a society to do certain things to make you happy. It is instead your true nature, a state that is there for you if you only quiet down long enough to notice. Look at life with a sense of curiosity. You should not know it all and if you act like you do, it would be no wonder you feel stressed, as that is impossible and inauthentic.

So, relax, dear woman. All of us Dots are here to raise you up. Hold space for you. We know you can run with the wolves and you also need to rest in the meadow and stare at the sky. Feel yourself supported in the flow of things…and sparkle!

Marissa Nordstrom, Polkadot Powerhouse MemberMarissa Nordstrom lives in Albuquerque, NM, and is a founding member of the PDP chapter there. She has a Master’s degree in Communication and currently works in healthcare, specifically cancer care. Marissa is a renaissance woman with widely varied interests, a tendency to work across sectors, and a habit of inspiring others. Her latest endeavor is Happy in Healthcare—a movement to connect and support those who make the bold decision to show up positively in a very challenging sector.